Community

Many years ago, I sat next to a priest on a short flight, but I will remember something he said for the rest of my life. He told me that in order to be happy, a person needs 3 things: something meaningful to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love. I have often reflected on his recipe for a balanced, productive life. This weekend, I realized he missed what I consider a 4th ingredient essential to happiness: community. I have written many times about what I believe is an innate need to belong, whether it’s to a family, college, work team--or even our planet. I believe this need to feel a part of a larger group is so fundamental that it ranks up there with his 3. And here is why I concluded this on this particular weekend:

Exactly a year ago this week, I moved to Galesville, Maryland, on the banks of the West River, which flows into the Chesapeake Bay. Although I still have my townhouse attached to my office in Old Town Alexandria, I have been putting down roots in Galesville over the course of the last year. In the course of the last year, I met many Galesville residents I instantly liked and was certain I wanted to get to know better. Some were retired from exciting lives that took them to the far corners of the world. Others were born and raised in Galesville—and had often returned here after living and working in other places. Two very special friends are in their 90s—Jack, who has a “Galesville room” in his home devoted to the history of the area, and Eleanor, who, at 98, out-parties me!

I have also written a lot about my belief that it takes focus on something (Gladwell and others would say “10,000 hours”) over time to create a critical mass that becomes the ‘tipping point’ from one state of being to another. This weekend was the tipping point for me in terms of feeling completely harmonious with the Galesville community. I woke up this morning realizing that I embrace it as my home—even the parts that are less than perfect. A series of holiday interactions over the course of the last few weeks created that critical mass that shifted my center of gravity:

 • My cottage was on the holiday home tour, which gave me the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people, including the organizers and other home owners.
 • The community held two charming holiday events at the Community Center.
 • Colorful, festive holiday banners line Main Street.
 • Neighbors organized for numerous parties, including an oyster roast last night that tied in with the judging of holiday decorations. Note that I went along to monitor the judging, and still received an award (see photo of award. Sorry-no photo of my Santa waving from an antique tractor.)
 • A new, exotically attired friend asked if I might have an ugly Christmas sweater, as she needed one for an office party themed around such attire. I was only too glad to share my very authentic ugly Christmas sweater and noted to myself that her request made me feel woven into the fabric of the community.

In fact, I discover as I write that there are too many events in the last few weeks to even try to continue listing them. I know I made a wonderful decision a year ago to move to Galesville, a diverse community filled with people who love sailing and the Bay as well as the town we share as our home. Thanks to all the people of Galesville who have welcomed me and helped me experience my happiest Christmas ever, as I feel a deep connection to the place I am and the people with whom I share it. Happy holidays and happy new year—and may each of you create and celebrate your own community!

Giving Thanks for Courageous Leaders

I’ve learned that many client groups have a busy season.  Bakeries and ballet companies are entering their crazy-busy seasons now, while I am just wrapping up mine.  Many of my nonprofit clients have a “back-to-school” ethic, returning from summer vacation full of determination to live and lead better, thus driving my “busy season” from October through the first weeks of December.  (Of course, a whole other batch will get itchy in January and plan retreats for February and March.)  As I momentarily paused last weekend to break for Thanksgiving after returning from several back-to-back client meetings and events, I had time to reflect on all the clients in my life for which I am grateful.

I can describe them in one word: WOW! 

I can’t believe how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to work with such amazingly caring and talented people—from neuroscience nurses to bakery owners to national service leaders.  As I processed my experiences while traveling between groups, I concluded that perhaps the most valuable quality that nurtures such remarkable success for each group is the leadership in each organization/ association.  In particular, each of these groups have a leader who seeks hard feedback.  Not only do these leaders not flinch when they receive it—they actually WANT it!  And they listen without defensiveness, seeking to first understand, and then to explore positive alternatives.  I continue to learn so much about courage from these leaders, who have become partners and friends in our shared journeys. 

As you ramp up during the upcoming holidays, make sure you give yourself time to reflect, ask for feedback on how you’re doing, and express your appreciation to those who provide it.  Growth is nearly impossible without feedback on performance. As much as we all want to hear the good stuff, sometimes all it takes for a colleague to let go of a negative feeling or opinion is the chance to verbalize it and feel heard.  Thanks to the wonderful, courageous leaders who have modeled this behavior with their colleagues and with me.  You inspire me and I am grateful!

Turning Point

Last year, when I purchased my sailboat, Turning Point, I was stunned that her name was so appropriate for that moment in my life.  Learning to be the skipper of my own boat has brought many great people and experiences and adventures into my life.  Undertaking such a multi-dimensional challenge has made me grow in so many ways, many of them unexpected.  It has shown me how I can rely on my natural strengths while building knowledge and skills in new areas.  It has forced me to ask for help and depend on others.  It has been very humbling and, surprisingly, life-affirming.

 

This weekend, I faced strong gusts of wind just beyond my comfort level—which is where learning takes place.  Elvis, my dog, was not as enthusiastic, as you can see from his photo.  Every person, team, and organization needs to continually find and achieve bold new goals that build on their strengths and push them in new ways. 

Take the first step, no matter how frightening it might seem.  You will overcome barriers, expand your perspective, and build resilience.  When was the last time you did that?  What is that daring goal you’d love to achieve?  How could you move toward accomplishing it?  The reward will justify the risk and you might just find, like I did, a turning point.

Autumn

I recently had the good fortune to address a group of about 100 employees of the B.F. Saul Company about my book HUM.  In the book, and often in my work with clients, I discuss the many lessons that organizational groups can learn by observing how systems work in nature.  It therefore wasn’t a surprise when one of the themes that emerged from our lively conversation was how many of us were eagerly anticipating autumn.  It seems as if we each have deeply buried in us a “back to school” outlook that leads to setting goals, getting organized, making plans, and reconnecting with those we have been away from over the summer.  The crisper air energizes us to get back into healthy routines and look at ways to improve our lives and workplaces. 

It is no coincidence, then, that fall is always a busy time for us at the Schiller Center.  Over the summer, when the pace slows down a bit, many organizational leaders have an opportunity to reflect on the wide range of issues impacting their group, their employees, their productivity, their growth, and vision.  Once fall arrives and people get back into the grind, many of these leaders are eager to implement change.  Even if they don’t know exactly how to go about tackling their most pressing issues, many of them return in the fall with the conviction that they don’t want to repeat patterns of the past.   For us, it is a time of renewed energy and enthusiasm as we welcome the many requests we get for consultations and strategic planning retreats, eager to examine the unique context of each group and help create meaningful change.

Take the opportunities autumn presents to ask yourself if your workplace is performing as smoothly as it could be.  Are all team members invested in the same shared goals?  Is each member positioned to contribute his or her strengths?  Are there gaps or overlaps that need to be addressed?  Is the culture of your team positive and productive?  You can also use this time of year to set personal goals and determine dates by which you will achieve them, as well as who can support you in their accomplishment.  Happy Fall to All!

Connecting to the History All Around Us

Just as I write about connecting to others, to a purpose, and to our environment, I try to live those values.  This past weekend, I stumbled into a wonderful opportunity to learn about and connect with a fascinating piece of the history of the town of Galesville, MD, where I have my cottage and boat.  I attended the celebration of the 100^th anniversary of the Galesville Hot Sox, our local black ball team.  Many of its players attended and told their personal stories.  The event was held in the newly dedicated Galesville Community Center, which was a Rosenwald School (http://www.preservationmaryland.org/programs/rosenwald-schools/).  I also learned that our local school was the first school in Maryland to be integrated after the Civil Rights Act.  Maryland's governor selected it because he wanted to begin with a success story and the Galesville community was comprised of 50% blue collar whites and 50% blue collar blacks who worked in the seafood canning industry.

The Galesville Hot Sox will be playing an exhibition game on August 8^th on the field restored by the Smithsonian  As a bonus, there is a women’s team, which also is going to play a game.  I love this little town and everything I learn about its history connects me to it more deeply.

What do you know about the history of the place where you live or work?  Do you know if it was inhabited by Indians, and if so, what tribes?  What did the settlers do for a living and why did they settle there?  This summer, dig a little into the history that lives around you.  Discover the feeling of really connecting to a place.  Start local and you may discover how you can connect to the broader communities that share our planet.

Music to My Ears

This past week, I had the new and exciting experience of crewing in a sailboat race.  It was so packed with organizational and team lessons that I finally understood why so many executive teams select a sailing experience to build leadership and team skills.  

Our experience after the race concluded was so powerful that I have to single it out to share.  It is something I have encouraged clients to do for years, yet I often wonder how many leadership teams take the time to do this.  Once the race was behind us and we were safely sitting on the boat in our slip, the captain asked his crew, “What did we learn today that will help us do better in the future?”.  Without any finger-pointing or excuses, the crew discussed what went well, what could have been improved, and how they could apply what they learned in future situations with varying conditions. 

In organizations, your position at the “finish line” is less clear unless you set clear measures of success for your goals. This makes it easier to adjust either the goal or the measure of success.  Even if one or both need adjustment going forward, every team can improve its performance by taking the time that our captain did to ask and then really listen to the crew’s answer to his question about what lessons were learned and how these can be used to boost performance going forward.  Thanks to Captain Chuck, my friend Tom Rodgers who got me onboard, and the other crew members who allowed me to participate and learn so much about sailing and performance.

"Walk in Their Shoes"

When I was a young girl, my dad always said you have to see the world through your customer’s eyes.  From there, I continue to practice trying to see the world through the eyes of others.  This morning, I read my dog’s mind as he thought, “If I didn’t work so hard, my person would lose so many tennis balls every day.”